Slackass Bloggers and Travelling solo with a Toddler

Although we (I'm refering to Genelle also, not my alter ego) haven't blogged in a while, I guarantee that our minds are as twisted as ever. In fact, I think NOT blogging has made it even more twisted. I want to start blogging again - it's a good method of release. Life has been busy, and there isn't much computer time now that my wee bambino is no longer wee, nor is he a bambino. He's a poo throwing, running, climbing, yelling, defiant, messy, loving, daring, funny TODDLER. Please pray for me that I survive this time.

Now on to our travels. This story is just too much not to share - and perhaps I should get the "Mommy of the Year" Award. Recently I travelled to Ohio with Cooper. He and I flew up. Please note - I do NOT recommend flying (or travelling in general) with a toddler (as described above) by yourself. Not even valium could settle my nerves. Anyway, he did pretty well on the 2 flights up. We didn't have much of a layover in Charlotte, so that made things much easier. The flight back was a different story. We were routed through Philly, and should have had a short 40 min layover. That's the perfect amount of time to change his diaper and board our next flight. SMOOOOOOOTH SAILING, right? No. Wrong. We land, and we don't have a connecting PLANE. No plane. Yep. Not delayed. JUST NO DAMN PLANE. Oh, did I mention that it is not officially 1.5 hours past naptime? I tried to keep him occupied, but everything turned into a temper tantrum. EVERYTHING. Finally, we see one of those skycab carts, and I just knew that it was sure to occupy him for quite a while. Unfortunatly, he figured out that it had a bike bell on it, and he figured out how to operate it. Ok, put yourself there - close your eyes and just imagine - you have just finished wrestling with a 36 lb toddler. He has managed to hit you in the face, lay on the floor, almost get run over by a skycab, try to run away numerous times, and spit food all over the floor - all while screaming on top of his lungs yelling "NO! BAD MOMMY!" So then you see the skycab - it has a golden halo of light around it, beckoning you to allow him to play with it. It was my momentary heaven. He was sitting there so nicely saying "Vrooom. Vroom" and pretending to drive and every now and then dinging the bike bell. "Vrooom Vroom. Ding ding ding. Vrooooooom. ding. Vrooooom Vroooom Vrooom. ding ding ding." You get the idea. All of a sudden, I hear the devil say in a whiney, nasely voice "That's annoying." I slowly turn to address the devil herself, but I don't know WHO the devil is. Again, I hear, louder this time, "That's REALLY annoying." Again I turn, and see the Devil, a curly headed 30 something witch. And I politly say, "Yes, I apologize. But it's much better than the alternative." To which she says, "One or two times is fine. But COME ON!" I reply, "You've obviously never travelled with a toddler." I turn back to Cooper and let him continue to play. Then I hear a growl and a grumble, and turn around again only to see the Devil FUMING. At that point I switched gears - I turn back to Cooper, tell him that he is bothering a "this nice lady" and take him off of the cart. The largest temper tantrum known to mankind ensues. I mean, this was the mother of all temper tantrums. What was I doing, you ask? Blocking his entrance to the cart, while gazing out the window looking at the dreary Philly weather. The Devil told me to get a handle on my child. I wanted to punch her right in her snotlocker. But I didn't. Only said, "I told you so." I gathered Cooper and we went off to find some other people to annoy.

Ok, I blogged. It felt good. Damn good. Now if I can drag Nelly out of the Land of No Blogging, all will be well.